Is this M. Night Shyamalan’s return to glory? For me, no. But this did we get a good horror film? Again, no.

Now, a reminder that this is my opinion. This isn’t the be-all and end-all verdict for The Visit. I am not a horror fan other than the greats like The Shining. I am not a fan of found-footage. If I’m honest with myself, I probably wasn’t the best person to review this as I fear I may come across harsh.

The Visit Review
Put. The. Camera. DOWN!

I. Was. Bored. From. Beginning. To. End. Nothing happens. It is literally a visit to your grandparents house, only if your grandparents are uninteresting and dull. Let me emphasise: nothing happens! The whole 90-minute film, which feels more like three hours, has nothing of any particular interest happen. The last 10-minutes of the film is when anything does decide to move and that ends up being too brief and not terrifying at all, or scary, not anything; just the characters finally interact a little more.

The Visit’s idea of scary is an elderly woman in a dark room walking on all fours. This isn’t scary, this isn’t anything. Ultimately, it’s an old person, that’s not that intimidating of a premise to start with.

Meanwhile, whilst nothing at all happens, the characters also do nothing. The actors clearly had a hard time wrapping their heads around dialogue that was jarring and to their credit did an adequate job. Characters would ask a question about one thing and then talk about something unrelated. The constant attempts to be funny also don’t help the cause. They repeat jokes that weren’t funny to start with; at best the jokes from The Visit make you cringe.

The Visit Review
Attempt #256 of being funny. Result: failed.

If the goal was to scare, this film failed. If the goal was to entertain, it also failed. It did manage to make me feel creepy and uncomfortable for a few scenes, a scene involving a nappy toward the end especially, but that’s about it. This film hasn’t attempted to do anything new, it wasn’t surprising at any part as the plot miraculously manages to be both nonsensical and predictable.