It takes a special kind of film to make sitting still difficult.

It’s hard to know where to start with this review. I somehow managed to leave my expectations at the door before I saw the sequel to a film I couldn’t get half way through. I was almost excited for this film when I sat down, and in the first five minutes, I actually laughed out loud. Once. That was the only time.

Kevin James tries so very hard. So so very hard, but it just doesn’t work. Through the first half hour it became more and more apparent that this film had almost no script, as long sections of it are ‘improvised’, and it only gets worse as the film goes on. Certain scenes go past the point of just being boring, and start being uncomfortable. The padding in this film is unbelievable, and if you took out everything that wasn’t a part of the story it would be about six minutes long.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Review
Whatever I write here it’ll be funnier than this scene. And every scene.

The worst thing I can say about this film, and the only thing I need to say is this. There are two parts in this film that stand out for being better than the rest of the film. You know that scene in every Adam Sandler film (and every other bad ‘comedy’) where he gets attacked by an animal? That happens here for absolutely no reason, it comes out of nowhere and feels forced, and yet it’s still better than the rest of the film. The other stand out scene is when Paul Blart is giving an emotional speech. It’s a well acted scene that is half played for laughs, but is actually a little bit rousing. A half for laughs emotional scene should never be the best part of a comedy.

There’s really nothing good I can say about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, other than this. While I was walking out of the film, a man said to his children ‘that was pretty funny, wasn’t it?’, to which they all overwhelming replied ‘yes!’. I suppose there’s an audience for everything.