This week Ted 2 hit cinemas, and while it’s an original property, it does feature a children’s toy swearing and taking drugs. This got the ‘adults’ here at Third Act Film thinking, which children’s TV shows deserve to grow up? After all, we had to, so why shouldn’t they?
Allow me to paint you a picture… Imagine a live action film with a the tone of the Jump Street films, where Scooby-Doo, an ex-police force six foot Great Dane regularly ravages the bad guys, biting faces off and amputating limbs left right and centre. Shaggy is a paranoid drug addict, who sometimes thinks his dog can talk to him. Velma is a frumpy middle aged virgin, who regularly suffers from anti Semitic abuse. Daphne is a divorced sex addict. Fred is a closeted dominant husband, who can’t let go of his teenage years, a time when he and the gang solved paranormal crime. But it’s a straight up comedy. Am I the only one that wants to see this?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Well, we sort of got this last year. Live action, eight foot, freaky monstrosities. But I want them to beat men to death. TO DEATH. These guys are ninjas, and I want to see them using their strength to break arms and noses and create widows and orphans. When one of the foot clan gets hit by a bo staff in the face, or or sai in the spine, I want to feel it. Anybody on board with this one?
So somebody already made this for me. There was a short film released a little while ago starring Katee Sackhoff and James Van Der Beek, that was basically the adult version of the power rangers, kicking ass and taking names. If you look hard enough I’m sure you can find it, and if you do, picture that as a feature length film. That pretty much does the talking for me on this one.
Who doesn’t want to see a giant, scaly dragon in the form of Charizard fighting a huge, hideous tortoise in the form of Blastoise? Imagine a real mouse that looks like Pikachu. Imagine how scary a Gastly could be. Think about the tasty tie in meals, with Magikarp sushi. Everything about this is right.
Which shows did we miss? More importantly, which shows do you want to see? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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